“Take off your undies and lie down! Now! Don't let me force you, Tammy” He struggled with me.
“Please! I beg you. Don't do this to me! Don't bring disgrace upon me” I went down on my knees.
“You have no idea how long I've desired you, Tammy.
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever set my eyes on.
Don't resist me.
Allow me to explore your wonderfully made body.
Let me have a taste of you, just once!
I can't let you go without touching you.
I'm madly in love with your body.
Let's do this peacefully or you'll force me to do it the other way” He held me firmly by my upper arms, plunging his long and sharp nails into my fragile skin.
“Don't do this to me. How will I face the world? How will I bear the aftermath?
What do you think people will say when they hear of it?
Please, think about this and let me go” Tears found their way out of my eyes.
He went silent for some seconds.
I thought he wanted to change his mind, but I was wrong.
In a twinkle of an eye, I found myself pinned to the bed.
Helplessly, I whispered, “Please,” but he wasn't ready to listen.
I could see the determination in his eyes. He was bent on having me.
I tried to free myself from his tight grip, but a hard slap greeted my cheek.
I kicked, I pushed, I slapped, I tried hard, but he, being stronger, overpowered me.
There, he deflowered me. I was in severe pains, physically and emotionally.
I was broken and devastated. I didn't know how I was going to get over this.
This was going to leave a permanent scar in my life forever!
How could I tell the world that I was raped by this evil man?
I didn't think anyone was going to believe me or be interested in hearing my own side of the story.
Who would believe that my virginity was stolen by my own brother, right in his room?
This was a disgraceful thing!
“Get out of here!” The hatred and anger in his eyes scared me out.
“Leave this place! I don't ever want to see you here. Empty vessel!” He cursed.
As I left, I tore my royal dress in anger and sorrow.
My brother had disgraced me. He had brought shame upon me.
He had done an abominable thing.
The whole of Israel was going to know, that I, Tamar, was raped by Amnon, my own brother.
As I left his house, I knew my life was never going to be the same again.
I was now a desolate woman.
If only I could turn back the hands of time.
_____
If you've been sexually violated like Tamar in the Bible, this is for you.
God cares about you, and there's hope for you.
He loves you too much to abandon you.
He can heal you and help mend the broken pieces of your life.
Please I Beg You Don't Do This To Me😭😭🙏