After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy responds: "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great family man".
The second guy says: "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow".
The third guy thinks for a while and then replies: "I guess
An English man, an Irish man, and a German decide to get drunk on Christmas Eve.
On their way home they got in a car crash which resulted in every single one of them dying.
All three appear in front of the pealy gates and st. Peter approaches them “since it's Christmas Eve, I'll give you all a chance to enter heaven, if you have anything on you right now that resembles or symbolizes Christmas then you can enter”
The English man pulls out a lighter and lights it “it's a candle" st. Peter lets him through.
The German puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a bunch of keys and shakes it “it jingles” he says, and once again st. Peter lets him through.
The Irish man thinks for a while then pulls out a black pair of bra and thongs, st. Peter takes one look and asks “And what's that supposed to be?”
After Dying In A Car Crash