Last week ehn, Lagos showed me pepper. Let me just tell you how it started…
It was supposed to be a calm week. I promised myself, “No drama, no spending, just peace.” But Lagos said “Oya now, let’s see.”
Monday: My boss called an impromptu meeting by 8 AM. I was still in bed when the notification dropped. Rushed BRT like a mad person, forgot my ID card at home. Security man looked me in the eye and said, “You’re not entering.” had to beg. Small shame, big lesson.
Tuesday: My phone fell inside the gutter at CMS while I was dodging one random hawker trying to sell me waterproof sunglasses. I cried real tears. The phone entered rice immediately. Till now, it's still in critical condition.
Wednesday: My situationship posted his real babe on WhatsApp with the caption “My peace”. Me that was thinking I’m his calm in the storm. I even replied “awwn” before I realised it wasn’t me.
I blocked him and unblocked him twice. I’m not okay.
Thursday: NEPA decided to play FIFA with my sanity. Light came for 10 minutes and left like a thief in the night. I used hot water to bath from rainwater I fetched on Tuesday. Don’t ask me how.
Friday: I said let me go and do small self-care. Entered saloon. Hairdresser said 5k. I said “no wahala.” Halfway through, she said, “Ah aunty, you’ll need hair treatment o, it’s 8k extra.”
I just closed my eyes and told her to finish the nonsense. If I die, I die.
Saturday: Wedding I wasn’t invited to, I still showed up. Full face beat, fine gele, heels that almost dislocated my ankle. But God is good — I caught bouquet. That’s my testimony.
Sunday: I slept like I was in coma. No church, no phone, no voice. Just body pain and regret. This Lagos will humble you. One week, seven battles. But we move. Let’s see what this new week holds.
“Last Week Was Mad” – A Lagos Story In Real Time