Never argue with a woman, just use your
brains like this my guy.
A man went on a night out with his
friends the wife is furious and tells
the kids that when he comes back
they must not open the door for him.
At about12 o'clock the man comes
back and knocks...
the Wife tells him "go sleep where your
coming from " and the man
answered" I'm not here to sleep my
dia , I'm here to collect condoms in
my room on top of the table or give it
to me,
there'r lots of women at the party!"
The wife opened the door and said
"idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.
3

Akpos went to an electronic store, he asked
the storekeeper "what is the price of this TV?"
The storekeeper answered "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Akpos again came next
day by cutting his beard and asked "what is
the price of this TV?" The storekeeper replied
"we don't sell our products to Akpos". The
next day Akpos came with a different face
and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The
shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Finally Akpos got irritated
and asked the shopkeeper "how do you
recognise me every time?" The storekeeper
replied "because this is not a TV it is
Microwave Oven!"
2

Naija the only place where
Where a man Happily meet a lady and
when she
goes back to her friends, their only
question was "Is
the guy loaded?
Where a blind beggar will reject a
fake naira note.
Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles
& Waters
sold in Satchets.
Where You Can Be A Driver For Years
Without A
'DRIVER's LICENCE'
Where Presidents and other
government officials
don't know the national anthem.
Where the Police on a road block makes
more
money a day than motorist and their
owners.
Where you are jailed for stealing
Maggi and yam
and others given a chieftancy title for
stealing billions
and Front row seat in churches.
Where we fight for everything. To
gain admission
to university, to get a job and to enter a
bus!
2

My eyes are wet with tears...... Out of
laughter...haha hhahhaha read on....
If you are tired of those guys who keep on
inboxing U stupid questions,here are some
few tips on hw 2 answer them off:
Question:"hey beautiful wht r u busy with"
Answer: "looking for my engagement ring,
lost it"
Q:"Hey gal can we meet?"
A:"Nope i'm 8 months pregnant, I can't meet
anyone at this stage"
Q:"Can I knw more about u?" A:"Sure I LOVE
MONEY,please send me N5,000 MTN card"
Q:"do u hv a BF"?
A:"yes we hv 2 kids & he is a soldier"
2 1

One day at the end of class, a
teacher Mr.
Ofoka asked the whole class to go
home and
think of a story and then conclude
the moral of
that story.
The following day Mr. Ofoka came
into the class
and asked for the first volunteer
to tell their story.
little Suzy raises her hand and was
asked to go
ahead. "My dad owns a farm and
every Sunday we load
the chicken eggs on the truck and
drive into town
to sell them at the market. Well,
one Sunday we
hit a big bump and all the eggs
flew out of the
basket and onto the road."
Then Mr. Afoka asked for the
moral lesson of the
story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all
your eggs in one
basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad
owns a farm too and every
weekend we take the chicken
eggs and put them
in the incubator. Last weekend
only 8 of the 12
eggs hatched."
Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral
lesson of the
story. Lucy replied "Don't count
your eggs before
they're hatched."
The last person was little johnny.
Johnny started like this: "My uncle
Tedra
fought in the Vietnam war; his
plane was shot down over enemy
territory. He
jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of
beer, a machine gun and a
machete. On the way
down he drank the case of beer.
Unfortunately,
he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot
70 with
his machine gun, but ran
out of bullets, so he pulled out his
machete and
killed 20 more. The blade of his
machete broke,
so he killed the last ten with his
bare hands".
Mr. Afoka looked at johnny in
shock and asked if
there is possibly any moral lesson
to his story.
Johnny replied, "Don't Bleep with
uncle Tedra when he's
been drinking!"
2

Real Stress?
You stop and pick up a nice hitchhiking girl.
Suddenly she loses consciousness and you
take her to a hospital. This is STRESS! In the
hospital you are being told that she is
pregnant and doctors start congratulating
you with the future newborn.You explain that
just an hour ago you have seen her for the
first time in your life, but she starts telling that
you are the father. This is a BIG STRESS
already. You require for a DNR analysis and
they make it. Then the doctors tell you silently,
that actually, you can't be a father since you
are genetically sterile (genetically cannot
produce children). This is a STRESS, combined
with a relief. On your way back home you
remember, that you have three kids. That's
what the REAL STRESS is. P.S. What do you do
to your wife when you get home?
2 1

I wanted to use my ATM
card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
me called my bank help line.
Me: (angrily) So what's
wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
account, everything
is alright here and You should be
able to use your
card, are you sure your card is
not damaged or broken?
Me: Are you insane? What are
you insinuating? No
one takes good care of their ATM
card like I do.
Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also
sure the surface isn't
wet or stained with dirt?
Me: You dey mad? ATM card
wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.
2 1