A wife treats her husband by taking him to a
strip club for his birthday.
At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how
are you?"
The wife asks, "How does he know you?"
Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"
Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything,
He's on the Darts team."
Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the
special again?"
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her &
jumps into a taxi. The Taxi driver Says, "Hey
Jimmy boy!
You picked up an ugly one this time..."
.
Jim's Funeral is on Sunday!!!
1

Akpos woke up from sleep and found a letter
on top of the fridge, he took the letter and it
reads..
"It's no more working and i can't continue
staying here, i'm gone and till something is
done about it, i'm not going to come back"
Akpos opened the fridge, took out a chilled
drink and took a sip.. With surprise on his
face, he said..
"But the fridge is working now, what the hell
is she talking about?"
1

Conversation between a Rat and Man
Rat: (with tiny voice) hello.
Man: hello, who am i speaking wit?
Rat: na Mr John be dis abi?
Man: yes u are speaking wit Mr John, who is
dis pls?
Rat: so u no recognize my voice abi? Na me ur
room mate.
Man: u say what?.
Rat: ur room mate Rat. I dey ur room now..
Man: i beg ur pardon?
Rat: which yeye beg u dey beg me. i never
chop since yesterday wey u waka comot. I
check that place wey u dey put food i no see
anything. I check d kitchen nothing. I even
check ur fridge no single food there. E be like
say u wan kill me abi.. No problem, i jux say
make i let u know say That ur certificate 4
inside your wardrobe wey dem write LAGOS
STATE UNIVERSITY I don eat d"LA"comot.
Remaining "GOS"STATE UNIVERSITY. Let me
see which work u go take "GOS"state
university find....
(rat ends call)
1

Akpos is applying for a job as a signalman for
the local railroad and is told to meet the
inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Akpos a pop
quiz, asking: "What would you do if you
realized that two trains were heading
towards each other on the same track?"
Akpos says: "I would switch one train to
another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the
manual lever down there", answers Akpos.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
challenges the inspector.
"Then," Akpos continued, "I'd run back up
here and use the phone to call the next signal
box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Akpos argued, "I'd run to the
street level and use the public phone near the
station".
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"Oh well," said Akpos, "in that case I would
run into town and get my Brother Ofego".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why
would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash
1

Bill Gates organized an enormous
session to recruit a new CEO for
Microsoft Europe. Five thousand candidates
assembled in
a large room. One candidate is
Ayodele a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the
candidates for
coming and asking those who do
not know Java program to leave.
Two thousand candidates leave the
room. Ayodele says to himself, "I do
not know JaVa but I have nothing to lose if I
stay. I'll give it a try. Bill Gates asked the
candidates who
never had experience of managing
more than 100 people to leave. Two
thousand leave the room. Ayodele says
to himself "I never managed anybody
by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?" So
he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates
who
do not have management diplomas to
leave. Five hundred people leave the
room. Ayodele says to himself, "I left
school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill gates
asked the candidates
who do not speak Serb-Croatian to
leave. Four hundred ninety-eight
candidates leave the room. Ayodele
says to himself, "I do not speak one
word of Serb - Croatian but what do I have to
lose?" So he stays and finds
himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them
and said,
"Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serb - Croatian,
so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that
language." Calmly, Ayodele turns to the other
candidate and says, "Wahala wa o!"
The other candidate answers "O gaju o
1

Akpos who has no wife, no child, no money,
no home, a blind mother, infact very very
poor.
But one day, he saw a magician who
promised to grant him only one wish.
Magician : tell me one thing u wish and i will
do it for u right now
Akpos : ok, i have one wish, i want my
mother to see my wife carrying two out of my
kids in my hummer jeep parked near the
swimming pool in one of my many mansions
situated at london city.
magician
.
.
.
Fainted
1

Teacher: "What is 1+1?
Children: "8"
Teacher: "Correct"
Teacher: "What is 2+5?"...
Children: "14
" Teacher: "Correct"
Teacher: "What is 4+6?
Children: "20
"Teacher: "Good, it will remain like that until
government pays my salary!
1

A Journalist to a
Doctor of a mental hospital & the following
conversation ensued :
JOURNALIST : How do you determine to admit
a patient or not ?
DOCTOR : Well, we first fill a bathtub with
water till the top. We then give a teaspoon, a
glass cup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST : Obviously a normal person
would use the BUCKET because it's bigger.
DOCTOR : No, you're stupid! A normal person
would pull the DRAIN PLUG! Nurse, admit this
idiot in Ward 7!!
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