The C.E.O was walking in the Factory. He
noticed a Guy leaning against the Wall looking
somewhere. He approached the Man and
asked him," How much do you earn?"
The Guy was amazed and said," N2000 sir"
The CEO took out his wallet and gave the Guy
N6000 and told him," I pay People here to
Work and not to waste time. This is your 3
months salary and now get out of here NEVER
come back."
The Guy said,"Thank you sir!" 3 times then
walked away in a haste.
The CEO now looked at other Workers and
asked," Who was that Guy?"
The Workers replied," He was the Pizza
delivery Guy sir!"
2 1

This evening, Akpos' Landlord was
complaining dat Ofego had impregnanted his
daughter. .As Akpos over-heard d landlord
shouting, he came out of his house and asked
d landlord.Akpos: Oga landlord, what have
Ofego done dis time?.Landlord: Ofego got d
mind to impregnant my only
daughter.Akpos: Oga landlord, are u sure of
wat u are saying?.Landlor d: Yes, this
evening
i saw mydaughter vomitting, wen i noticed
dat she was pregnant, i asked her who
impregnanted her& she said dat Ofego is d
one who impregnanted her.Akpos:
Abomination, Ofego is afool, he is a bastard.
Oga landlordsince i have been sleeping with
ur wife, have u got any reportthat i have
impregnanted her?.
1

A youth corper was part
of the invigillators in a WAEC GCE exam
holding in the school he is
serving, right inside the
hall when the exam
was on going, one sexy
gal who was wearing
a very short skirt and
looking gorgeous was
cutting eye for the corper, giving him a
seductive look, so he
went straight to
the gal to find out what her
problem was. The corper gave the gal d
solution to the
mathematics question. So, after
the exam, the Corper followed
d gal up to arrange of how they
would meet and the gal said: do u
think I'm a prostitute? All those
actions I was displaying for u in the hall are
fake oooo, thats my
boyfriend
waiting for me.. Mugu!..and she
laughed!....
The Corper laughed too and
said: do u think I read
Mathematics? I studied Yoruba in school, all
those
answers I gave to
you are formulated and
fake!.......... ..
The Girl Screamed n
Fainted!!!!!! =))
1

A woman hears someone knock at the door. She
opens to see and a man asks, "Do you have a
vagina??" She slams the door in disgust.
The next day she hears a knock, opens up and its
the same man. He asks the same question the
woman slams the door again.
Her husband gets home she tells him what
happened for the last two days. The husband says
to her, "Honey I'm taking tomorrow off to be
home just in case he shows up again."
The next morning they hear a knock at the door
and the husband says, "I'm going to hide behind
the door and listen. If it is the same guy I want
you to answer yes to see where he is going with
this." The man asks the same question, "Do you
have a vagina?" "Yes!" Replies the woman. The
man replies, "Good! Would you mind telling your
husband to leave my wife's own alone and start
using yours??
1

I went to WARRI last week sunday, if u see d name of churches wen i see, Ha! My broda even Satan sef dey fear. Make i yarn una: i see church names like.. 1. Nak ur pako 4 Satan head Ministerial Church of Fire. 2. Satan ur own don kpafuka evangelical ministry. 3. Operation cary devil nack 4 ground Bible ministry. 5. The Atomic Bomb Bible Brigadial Barack Ministry. AKA shoot d devil make im eye clear. 6. Satan Wetin we do u Evangelical church of God Aka Satan leave us jeje. 7. Operation No luk uche Face Biblical Church of Christ. Aka Slap satan face ministry. 9. SATAN If u try us u go hear ween Prayer ministry. 10. Satan chop make i chop Bible Assembly. Aka we no dey find Satan trouble ministry.
I was shocked beyond recognitn when i saw dis name, Boko Haram Evangelical Movement A.k.a Na peace we want.
1

WOMAN: My Husband is not
interested in sex. DOCTOR: Ok!
give these pills to
him.Everyday, put 1 pill in his
tea. the woman did and they
had sex which they enjoyed.
Next day she puts 2 pills in his
tea and they enjoyed much
more sex. 3rd day, she
emptied the whole bottle in
his tea. …Two days later
Doctor called to know the
progress. Son picked and
replied: "Mom is in coma at de
moment, Aunt is in hospital,
Maid is suing Dad for rape, My
own ass hurts and bleeding
and Dad is still running naked
in de garden, shouting Bingo!
Bingo!! Bingo!!! but the dogs
are no where to be found
1

Okon, was embarking on a long trip and
decides his wifeshould wear steel
underwear. He locks the underwear and
gives the key to his bestfriend
Akpos, saying "If i don't come back in 10
years, set her free."
Okon was only 30 minutes into his journey
when he sees a cloud of dust behind him. It
was Akpos running after him.
"What's wrong?" Okon asked.
Akpos, still panting, says "You gave me the
wrong key!"
1

I went to a cinema with Akpos, on getting to
the cinema we saw a bald guy, I showed the
guy to Akpos and said "Look at fresh head,
this one is good to slap, but I'm afraid of the
guy's face".
Akpos then said to me "Ofego, you fear a lot,I
will slap that head and nothing will happen".
I dared him to do it and he went to where
the guy was sitting and gave him a HOT SLAP
on his head. The guy was surprised, and
wanted to react, then Akpos said "Bros
Ofego, so you are here, and we have been
looking for you at home!"
The guy responded "I'm not Bros Ofego,
maybe we look alike", Akpos murmured
"maybe."
After some minutes In the cinema, Akpos
called me again and said "Ofego, I will slap
that guy again and nothing will happen." I
answered "ok"
He went to the guy, gave him a hot slap and
said "Bros Ofego stop lying, I say na u be
dis..."
The guy said to him angrily "I'm not Bros
Ofego,please, let me be". The guy then left
that seat and went to the front seat.
After some minutes Akpos called me and said
"Ofego, I will slap that guy again and nothing
will happen."
This time i told him that "if anything happens,
I will pretend I don'tknow him."
He stood up, went to the front seat, gave the
guy a very hot slap and said"Bros Ofego, so
na here you dey, I come dey slap another
person for back!"

1

Akpos’ elder brother, Tommy, traveled to
London months ago, leaving behind Akpos,
their aged mom & their pet cat, Kelly. Last
week Tommy called from London to know
how they’re doing…
TOMMY: Hello brother how are you doing?
how's mom and how is Kelly?
AKPOS: Kelly is Dead!
TOMMY(after a pause): Akpos, bad news is
not revealed in that manner. U should have
started by saying something like, "Kelly fell
inside a well but neighbors are trying to
rescue it". Then when I call again U tell me,
"Kelly broke it's neck and is receiving
treatment". Then when I call again, U tell me
they did their best but couldn't save it.
That's how to break a bad news in a mature
way. OK?
AKPOS: Ok bros, understood.
TOMMY: Ok, so how is Mom?
AKPOS: Bros, Mom fell inside a well, but
neighbours are trying to rescue her.
(Phone cuts).Tommy has been admitted in a
private hospital in London after going into
coma.
1

Akpos: Hello Girl
Chichi: Hello!
Akpos: Do you have a boyfriend?
Chichi: Nope. I don't want to have a
boyfriend.
Akpos: oh no!!!! Remember Genesis 2:18
The
Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to
be
alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Chichi: But I don't love you.
Akpos: no, u just have to love me, remember
1 John
4:8 "Who ever does not love does not know
God,
because God is love."
Chichi: But how can I be sure that you're
loyal and
honest?
Akpos: Mark 13:31 says "Heaven and earth
will
pass away, but my words will never pass
away."
Chichi: But I'm busy, I'm still studying.
Akpos: yes dear but Ecclesiastes 3:1 said
"There is
a time for everything, and a season for every
activity under the heaven."
Chichi: But why me? There are alot of girls
out
there.
Akpos: Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do
noble
things, but you surpass them all."
Chichi: But what is in me that you like?
Akpos: Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are
altogether
beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in
you."
Chichi: no ooo, I'm not beautiful.
Akpos: Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive,
and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears
the Lord
is to be praised."
Chichi: Why all dis?
Akpos: 2 Corinthians 2:4 "For I wrote you
outof
great distress and anguish of heart and
with many
tears, not to grieve you but to let you know
the
depth of my love for you."
Chichi, waoooo, i'm flattered, i think i love u,
let's
start with u buying me an Iphone 6.
Akpos: no dear, remember 1 John
2:15...."Love not
the world, neither the things that are in the
world
Chichi: Omg!!! That reminds me, you have no
job as well...
Akpos: Don't worry, Genesis 22:8 says GOD
WILL
PROVIDE.
1

Akpos and Ofego were having dinner
when suddenly armed robber
broke into their house. Akpos wanted to run
away but he said to himself
dat if he run away, he might be killed so he
freezed himself & stood like
an image. The armed robber ordered for
money
but they did not have
money, so d armed robber looked at d image,
then turned to Akpos' friend Ofego and said:
Armed Robber: Take a look at such a beautiful
image you have in ur house, but
you don't have any money. Infact i'm going to
destroy dis image.
*sets his gun, points at d image(Akpos) and
was about to shoot.*
Akpos: (screamed out!) Please dont shoot, i
am
d image of God.
Armed Robber: So here you are, i have been
praying to you to give me job
but you don't want to answer my prayer.
Today, since i have d
opportunity of seeing you, i will not let u
escape. When you get to
hell, explain to them why u did not want to
give me a job.
*about to shoot*
Akpos: (screamed out again!) Please, please, i
am
d image of Akpos. I don't want to die!.
1