In the small town of Umuoko, there was a popular pastor known as Pastor Timothy Fire-for-Fire. He was famous for his powerful sermons and dramatic deliverance sessions. His favorite phrase was, “Holy Ghost Fire! Burn them!”—which he used for everything, from casting out demons to chasing mosquitoes.

One Sunday morning, the church was packed as usual. The choir was singing, “Jehovah has the final say,” when suddenly, a strange commotion started at the back of the church.

A goat—yes, a full-grown village goat—had somehow found its way into the church. Nobody knew who owned it, but one thing was clear: this goat was possessed.

The stubborn animal walked majestically to the altar, chewing on a piece of paper like it was in its father’s compound. The congregation gasped. Pastor Timothy was in the middle of his sermon, holding a Bible in one hand and a microphone in the other.

When he saw the goat, his eyes widened. He shouted, “Holy Ghost Fire!”

The goat did not move. Instead, it stood on its two hind legs, as if mocking the pastor.

The church members screamed, “Pastor, cast it out! This goat is not ordinary!”

Pastor Timothy, sweating profusely, pointed his Bible at the goat and declared, “You spirit of distraction, who sent you? Speak now or be roasted by fire!”

The goat responded—not by speaking, but by grabbing the pastor’s flowing white robe with its teeth and pulling it down!

The entire church erupted in chaos. Women screamed and ran outside, old men tried to hold their laughter, while children were rolling on the floor.

To make things worse, Pastor Timothy, now standing in his boxer shorts, picked up his Bible and tried to chase the goat. But the stubborn animal was faster! It ran through the pews, knocking over chairs, sending ushers tumbling like dominoes.

The assistant pastor, still in shock, tried to intervene, but the goat jumped and landed straight into the offering basket!

“Jesus is Lord!” one elder shouted as he fainted.

In the end, after 20 minutes of chaos, the goat was finally caught by Brother Chibuzo, the church’s strongest prayer warrior, who tackled it like a professional wrestler.

Since that day, the church members started bringing their own chairs to service—just in case the goat decided to return for another deliverance session!

⸻

Moral of the story:
Not all problems need Holy Ghost Fire—some just need a strong rope and a good shepherd!

⸻

Written by MELDAVIES
(Follow, like, comment for more hilarious stories

Hmmm
1 1

Nice 👍👍
1 1

Nice 👍👍
3 2