I went out with my babe yesterday. We were just there, eating, minding our business, when a couple walked in.
From the way they were laughing and playing lovey dovey, I just assumed they were lovers.
Next thing, the girl and my babe somehow struck up a conversation. My girl is very social, she easily gets along with people. One second strangers, next second besties.
They started gisting like old friends—talking about the chicken, comparing it to KFC, rating the fries, all of that. Me, I ignored them. My job was to eat and pay, simple.
When we finished eating, I called for the bill and asked for a takeaway pack. As I was trying to package my chicken I couldn’t finish, the guy that came with the girl stood up.
“Babe, the network is bad. Let me step outside and try it,” he said to his babe but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.
He went out. His babe stayed back and kept chatting with my girl. Well, our networks can misbehave sometimes. I didn’t think much of it.
But a few minutes later, the guy came back and whispered something into the girl’s ear. She put up a shock face, me, I was just noticing from the side of my eyes.
Then she turned to my babe. “Sis, please I know we just met, but my man’s having network issues. Can your guy help us cover the bill? Once we go outside, we’ll transfer it back. Or you can give me your number so I can send it later.”
My babe smiled sweetly. “Sure thing darling, no problem at all.” Then she turned to me.
“Honey, please can you help my friend? Her man’s network is having issues can you help them pay?” she asked, pouting.
I was confused. Usually, my babe is the hard guy. Me, I’m the good guy. If someone asks for help, I help. But now she was asking me to pay? So I said, “Okay. How much is the bill?”
The girl said, “Just 75k.”
My brain paused. 75k is just in this economy? Wetin una chop? Me that our bill is 23k is it that we don’t like food? I didn’t want to embarrass my babe’s new friend, so I opened my bank app and started typing.
Then my phone started ringing. It was my babe. I looked at her, confused. She smiled at me like nothing was happening. I picked the call. She rolled her eyes and stepped on my feet really hard, I almost screamed
She immediately hung up and sent me a WhatsApp message:
“If you pay that money, I swear I will kee you. I will bvrn your car with you inside. I will destr0y you.”
“Honey, have you done it?” she asked sweetly.
I almost choked with laughter. I looked up at her. She was still smiling at me. I swallowed and said, “No, love, my network is very bad too. The app is not even opening.”
“What about your card?” The girl asked
Yea honey what about your card? My babe asked too
“You know it has expired. I haven’t had time to get a new one.” I replied sharply
“Awwww, that’s true baby, he’s been too busy to request a new one. You guys can use your card too or you can use yours. We really have to go now.”
We stood up and left. The moment we got outside, my babe turned to me.
“So, really? If I hadn’t warned you, you would have paid for those criminals?”
“But… you were the one that asked me to pay.”
“So, if I ask u to enter fire, you’ll enter or if I ask you to eat shit, you will? You don’t have street sense at all. Thank God for me in your life, or Lagos babes would just finish you. Gadus.”
Women
The End
3 1

Hmm
1 1

See food ooo☺️☺️
2 2

I like oo